Wish

All eyes are on

The bride walking down the aisle

My eyes are

On you.

 

I am here

Holding my breath

At your wedding

Just one of the boys

Tearing up like a girl.

 

I am here

To witness your bliss

To wish you well

To watch my childhood dream

Be crushed by

The flight of doves,

The throwing of rice

The clink of glass

“You may kiss the bride…”

 

My chest implodes

And it feels like

A stupid corset is the only thing

Holding me intact

But I will manage a smile

When you have your photo taken at our table

One arm casually slung across my shoulder

Your playground pal

Your devoted shadow

 

I wish you well

I wish you well

I wish you well

I can do this

And as I finally say it out loud

I wish you all the best—

Your bride is already turning

To the next guest

But you,

You are still smiling at me

Drawing me close

Planting a kiss

on my forehead

In that oblivious,

tender way

 

I come undone.

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Paper Cuts

I hoped you wouldn’t notice

The telltale finger gashes

The hours I spent

Learning how to make

A simple paper crane

I hoped it looked effortless

As I reshaped the letter

you kept reading, and rereading

All week.

By now, I knew the routine:

Five o’clock, park swings.

You would unfold the missive,

Read it out to me

Ask if you missed anything,

Any clue,

Why she left

And once again,

I would shake my head

Wishing there was something

I could do

To ease your pain.

Today, when you asked

What the hell she meant

I took the offending letter

from your hands

I folded, and aligned,

And folded again

Till her razor-sharp words

disappeared

Into wings

(What I really wanted to do

Was tear up the letter

Into tiny pieces

and assemble them into

a thousand cranes

so you could make

a wish;

But I knew

I would never be forgiven)

With a silent bow

I tucked the bird

in your hands

Only for you to promptly unfold my art

back into the shape

of your grief.

But that’s ok;

See you again tomorrow,

Five o’clock,

Swings.

See

Once upon a time, I wrote this tinypoem:

“Someone who sees me
–Yes, I’d like that–
Someone who loves my quirks
And silly dances
And double chin
But until then
Who needs a jerk
When I have wonderful friends?”

And just when I learned to value myself and feel completely comfortable in my own skin, wouldn’t you know, Toto came along, and the rest is history. Celebrating ten years today!

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Magic

fairground

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sometimes,

When you least expect it

Your ordinary life

Is sprinkled with fairy dust

And blessed with love.

 

I stopped looking for extraordinary signs,

Extraordinary circumstances;

Knights on white horses,

The random grand gestures

That blind you

To the billion simple joys

A kindred soul brings

 

One day, I realized

Magic is the capacity to see wonder

In everyday things.

 

Dancefloor

It’s been so long

Since strobe lights have blinded me

And alcohol has coursed

Through my veins

Making my heart

Thump thump thump

To the rhythm again.

 

It’s been so long

Since the music has gripped me

Like a puppeteer

Pulling the strings

And my limbs

Shake shake shimmy

Don’t know what’s gotten into me

 

But I feel so free

 

It’s been so long

Since I’ve felt like this

Since I’ve felt like me.